Tuesday, June 30, 2015

My Kids Hate Each Other

Cain and Abel, Romulus and Remus, Rachel and Leah. All infamous siblings whose relationships were riddled with competition, rivalry and jealousy and in two thirds of them, death. Sometimes I feel as though one day, people will be reading about my children on Wikipedia for similar reasons. 

Cain slaying Abel by Peter Paul Rubens

My kids hate each other. 

There, I said it. I have five; eleven-year-old twins, ten-year-old daughter, eight-year-old son and two-year-old daughter. We are a blended family. A sort of his, mine and ours.

They all hate each other, except maybe the two-year-old. She's too young to be a total shit head yet. I swear if they were in the Hunger Games arena, they would have no problem stabbing each other in the back to make it home alive.

How do I know they hate each other? Let me count the ways...

1. They never want to help each other. Ever. If K asks T to pass her something she's sitting next to, T will say "It's not mine. It isn't my job to give it to you." But then T is surprised when K doesn't want to help her when she needs something.

2. They're constantly racing each other. For everything. The favorite seat on the couch, the bowl with the most ice cream, the last piece of red construction paper. And forget about it if one of them "calls" something ahead of time. The others yell that they're not allowed to do that. No one ever says "Sure, I don't mind if you eat the last piece of chocolate." 

3. They tattle on each other. All the time.  They are constantly trying to get each other in trouble about the most stupid shit possible. "AJ said his room was clean but it isn't." "A glanced at me for a second as she was looking around the room." "K said she doesn't like my skirt." Gah! Who cares? 

4. They give each other nasty looks. We've all heard the phrase "If looks could kill." Well if looks really could kill, I would be childless. And I would be dead, and so would hubs and both our dogs.

5. They're always comparing what the other one has. Try as I might to make everything equal at birthdays and other holidays, someone always thinks the other got something better than them. As a result of this their hatred for that sibling increases exponentially. A thinks that K's clothes are cuter. T likes AJ's headphones better. For the love of god the headphones are the same except for the color!!

6. They can't keep their hands to themselves. Without fail, every time they are playing or swimming one of them tries to kill off another one. They either trip them when they're running, crash into each others bikes or try to drown them in the pool. They may claim it was an "accident" or that they "didn't mean to", but I know better. I see that little glint of evil in their eyes.

7. They hate sharing. It is said that sharing is caring. With most people this may be true, but all it tells me is I am right about my kids hating each other. They will hoard twenty-five Barbie outfits claiming they are playing with them, just so someone else can't have them. It is physically impossible to play with twenty-five outfits at one time, so why can't they let someone else use them? Because they hate each other.

Is there any hope for any of them? Or me? I feel like the only time I ever get relief is when I go for my morning jog

Please tell me I'm not the only one whose children despise each other!


  1. Oh man! I think I might want to jog on forever. I know that doesn't help. Sorry. The tattling would drive me up the wall. What does your husband say? Any wisdom there?

    1. If it were up to him he would just separate them and banish them to different rooms forever. lol

    2. If it were up to him he would just separate them and banish them to different rooms forever. lol