Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:
http://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado
http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com The Bergham’s Life Chronicles
http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com Spatulas on Parade
http://dinoheromommy.com Dinosaur Superhero Mommy
http://themomisodes.com The Momisodes
http://morethancheeseandbeer.blogspot.com More Than Cheese and Beer
http://www.southernbellecharm.com Southern Belle Charm
http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch Confessions of a Part-Time Working Mom
http://thelieberfamily.com The Lieber Family
http://www.someoneelsesgenius.com Someone Else’s Genius
http://stacysewsandschools.blogspot.com Stacy Sews and Schools
http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com Sparkly Poetic Weirdo
http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com Searching for Sanity
My subject is “Are flowers just flowers?". It was submitted by Confessions of a Part-Time Working Mom. http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch.
Are flowers just flowers or is there some deeper, hidden meaning behind them? When I was younger I loved to get flowers. I didn't even care who they were from. As I grew older getting flowers from a boyfriend was the ultimate excitement. Birthday, anniversary, just because. It didn't matter, I was a sucker for flowers.
Then one day, I can't remember where, I heard that if a man sends a woman flowers for no reason it means he feels guilty about something or is apologizing for something he's done. Well isn't that great. There went the romance of flower giving.
After my first marriage ended I found out that he had been unfaithful to me for the first two and a half years of our relationship. Basically until about four months before our wedding. I immediately started thinking back to all the warning signs there had been that, at the time, I just didn't notice or seemed innocent enough. Looking back it was so obvious.
I don't like to admit this, but he really screwed me up. He told me about the affair (yes, just one, long affair with his ex) after he had moved out and we were separated. There was no need for him to have told me about it, we were already over. He claims it was because if we had any chance of getting back together he couldn't go on living with the secret. Well, not that there was before, but there was definitely no chance of us getting back together after hearing that. I was hurt and angry but most of all I was embarrassed. I felt like he had made a complete fool out of me. The only good that came out of him sharing that was the weight lifted off his conscience. He felt better having unloaded that terrible secret he had been hiding all that time.
After we separated I slowly started dating again. I reconnected with a childhood boyfriend who lived 4,000 miles away form me. We went on two amazing vacations to Brazil and Hong Kong, he came here a couple of times to visit. We started trying to figure out ways for him to be able to move here. It was amazing for a long time, but whenever he sent me flowers, I couldn't help but wonder why. After we broke up, I dated a little here and there before I met my now-husband.
The first time hubs came over to have dinner at my house he brought me a single rose. My initial instinct was to wonder why. What had he done, what was he apologizing for? Then I realized we had only just started dating and hadn't even had the "will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend" conversation yet. It was a sweet gesture, that is all.
With all that being said, here are the top five reasons I think a man sends a woman flowers;
1) He loves her and wants to show her he appreciates her.
2) He cheated and feels guilty.
3) He loves her and wants to brighten her day for no specific reason.
4) He lied about something and feels guilty.
5) He loves her and feels like he doesn't tell her often enough and wants to surprise her with something nice.
I don't think every man sends their woman flowers out of guilt. Do some? Sure they do. Are there some total shit bags out there who run around doing whatever they want while you're picking out color schemes and cakes for your wedding? Yep, there are. Do they send flowers because they feel guilty? Maybe. Maybe they take you out to extravagant dinners or buy you jewelry instead.
Are there men out there who buy their women flowers simply because they love her? Yes there are. Just as there are men who take their women out to dinner and buy them jewelry when it isn't their birthday or anniversary. If my husband were to send me flowers today would I think it was because he felt guilty about something? No, I wouldn't. There was a time where I would have. After all, my first husband scarred me deeply and it took a long time to recover from. Not because I was still in love with him, but because I had difficulty accepting that it wasn't because of me that he cheated, it was because of him. It wasn't anything I had done or not done, it was because of his own immaturity and insecurities that he did that. Hubs and I have been together long enough that I have been able to work through a lot of my own insecurities, making me much more comfortable with myself and in my relationship.
Does my mind ever wander to the what if? Of course it does. I may have come a long way since my first marriage, but I am still human. But if he sends me flowers on a whim, for no apparent reason, I'm not going to question why or dissect what it could possibly mean. I know what it means. It means he loves me and wants to show me he appreciates me, or he want to brighten my day for no specific reason, or doesn't feel like he tells me he loves me often enough.
Flowers always have a hidden meaning, but it isn't always a bad one.