Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Stop the Shaming

Renee Zellweger is ALL over the web since her appearance at Monday's Elle Women in Hollywood event. There are many speculating that she has had plastic surgery of some sort. Others are saying she looks different than she did in Jerry Maguire and Bridget Jones because those movies first came out 18 and 13 years ago, respectively and, at 45-years-old, she is bound to look different than she did in her late-twenties/early-thirties.

Renee Zellweger at Monday's Elle Women in Hollywood event (left) 
and in 1998 at a movie premier (right).

Why does everyone care so much? Leave the woman alone. She claims she didn't have any work done and that she is glad people are noticing a difference in her appearance. She says her new look is due to a "happy, healthy lifestyle" and not surgery. I say more power to her. Who am I to judge if she has procedures to try and prolong her youth or not? To each their own.

Personally, I am not a fan of plastic surgery and I don't foresee myself ever getting a facelift, but that is my own personal preference. Do I think it is a shame that so many women feel the need to go under the knife for reasons of vanity? Yes, I do. I think it is sad when a woman doesn't feel like she can age gracefully and has to try and hang on to that last sliver of youth. I think it is worse when a perfectly beautiful young woman gets rhinoplasty to give herself the "perfect" nose. What I don't do is judge them or shame them for making those choices.

We all make decisions in life for different reasons. No one knows exactly what another person has going on within themselves that makes them choose what they do. Maybe that young girl was made fun of for the tiny bump in the bridge of her nose and is finally able to do something about it. Maybe the older woman is afraid her spouse won't find her desirable anymore if she has wrinkles. Many will say "shame on the bullies or the spouse for making her feel that way". But who will ultimately be shamed? The women.

I am so tired of the double standard that is out there when it comes to women.

Woman gets raped...she asked for it by wearing a short skirt.

Wife gets's her fault for staying with the guy.

Girl loses too much weight...she looks unhealthy.

Girl gains too much weight...she looks unhealthy.

Lady gets plastic surgery...she's pathetic or sad for trying to hang on to her youth.

When is it going to stop? When are we all going to quit being such judgmental assholes? When are we going to end sensationalizing what celebrities do with their faces, victim-blaming those who are abused and shaming women for their weight?

It is 2014, people! We have terrorist threats, deadly disease outbreaks, girls being kidnapped from schools and children being sold into sex slavery. Grow the fuck up. Get the fuck over what someone chooses to wear, weigh or do with their face.

Yes, it is sad that our children have to grow-up in a society so self absorbed and appearance-oriented. But that's the way it is. I don't want my girls growing up thinking they have to be "perfect" or my son growing up thinking his significant other should look like someone out of a magazine. I'm also not going to rely on celebrities to raise my children and I will teach them to be kind, decent human beings. I am going to try and instill values in them that help them look past all the bullshit and see people for who they truly are, not what they look like. I am also realistic and I know my kids will want to be pretty or handsome and, as with the rest of us, appearance will play a part in who they choose as a partner.

What I won't do is criticize my, or anyone else's, appearance in front of my kids. I will not shame someone because their shit-head spouse hit them and they didn't get themselves out of that environment. I won't teach my son that women who wear revealing clothes are "asking for it". I will not lead my girls to believe that what they weigh determines their self-worth.

I don't know what goes on behind those people's closed doors any more than you do. We don't know what makes people do the things they do, wear the clothes they wear or stay in an abusive relationship. Who are we to judge? Almost all of us change our appearance in some way or another on a daily basis. We wear clothes that are slimming or accentuate certain features, blow-dry and style our hair, wear makeup and pluck our eyebrows. Who are we to judge someone for changing the way they look. We're all guilty of it in varying different degrees.

Maybe we should spend as much time teaching our young to be accepting of others, and less time criticizing each other.

1 comment:

  1. When did we become a world full of people who can only feel GOOD about ourselves if we make someone else feel horrible about themselves? Somebody stop the planet, I want OFF!