Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Why Mother's Day Left Me Miffed

Mother's Day.

Do we put too much hype into it; the cards, gifts, breakfasts-in-bed, spa days, jewelry and flowers? Is it just another Hallmark holiday lining the pockets of card writes, restaurants and chocolate makers? Or is it the one day a year that mothers should be spoiled and taken care of the way they take care of the family the other 364 days of the year?


Mother's Day didn't turn out how I hoped it would. I did get flowers, cards and decorated cakes from the kids, and my Dad took us out to breakfast. What upset me was not having my husband around. I know I'm not his mother, but I am the mother/step-mother to our children. Every day I wake up and make breakfast, pack lunches, do school runs, grocery shopping, bill-paying. I admit I don't keep the house as tidy as either of us would like, but I'm busier now that I stay home than I ever was when I worked outside of the home.

For me, Mother's Day was just another day. I got up with the baby in the morning, dealt with the bickering older children, vacuumed and washed laundry and dishes. In the end, I did get my grilled steak and bacon-wrapped asparagus but only because I went to the grocery store and bought it. Yes, the hubs arrived a little after 5 pm with flowers and a card, after being out of town all weekend, and cooked dinner for me. I do appreciate that, but if I hadn't been shopping we probably would have ordered pizza.

I know I'm not my husband's mother, but my children are too young to make dinner reservations, and get up with the baby. They can't go grocery shopping or do the laundry. Does that make me any less deserving of a day off? I think not.

Of course, my children can make me homemade cards, which are always better than store-bought, they can (almost) leave me alone for a full hour to nap while their sister does. They can show me and tell me they love me in their special ways and for that, I am eternally grateful. I was glad to have my children with me, but what I really wanted was some time to myself: something only my husband could give me.

I wanted to sit on the couch and watch a chick-flick, or work on my blog, or play a game on my phone, without having to break up a childish argument, or change a poopy diaper. I wanted someone to get me a drink, make me lunch and plan dinner. I wanted to lie in that morning and take a long shower. I wanted some much earned space from my children.

Any mother who tells you they want to spend every waking moment with their children is lying. Mother's Day is the one day on which we should be afforded a break from them. Yes, I want to see them on Mother's Day. After all, they are more excited about the day than I am. I don't, however, want to be at their every beck and call.

I love my children more than anything or anyone on this planet. I would do anything for them, but I am human and I need a break. I need "me time". I don't have the opportunity to leave the house for 8 hours a day and have adult conversations. I don't take long lunches with clients at new restaurants. I am housebound: a hostage to the baby's nap schedule. I eat leftover mac and cheese most days.

I am grateful for all the slobbery kisses I want throughout the day, and that I can chaperone field trips and school events. But damn it, I want MY day: Mother's Day. I want to be selfish one day a year and have everyone else wait on me. Whether it's an over-hyped Hallmark holiday or not, it is MY holiday. It is the one day a year that I get to sit back and relax and this year I didn't get it. Needless to say, I am miffed.



8 comments:

  1. I didnt get that kind of day either. I made dinner, i did dishes i also.changed all diapers. Yes, my son is only 8 months olds and hates my only one but i still would have like to have MY day to me...

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    1. Luckily my husband is extremely helpful with the kids and the home on a regular basis. I would just liked to have been able to have a little "time off" that day. Sorry your day didn't go the way you wanted!

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  2. I was miffed as well husband was home but was working all day outside. I did get home made cards and gifts from my two youngest but not the oldest or my husband. No food was made for me all day in fact I cooked, lol.
    so I feel exactly as you do, it would be nice to feel a little appreciated on one day of the entire year and it would be totally awesome to get some me time with dinner waiting for me once I got home.

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    1. Honestly, I just don't think they "get it". They don't think about things the same way we do. One would think that in this day and age, they would be a little more "up" on what is helpful to their women!

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  3. Forgive me for being late on catching up on some blog posts... just wanted to tell you though... I am convinced Mother's Day only gets fun when your children are old enough to drive and pay for things. I'm guessing it gets exponentially better when your kids have kids of their own. That Sunday was just another day for me - I looved taking my mom to a fancy lunch the following Tuesday though where we proceeded to day load and eat way too many calories. Happy Belated Momma Day! Let's hope it gets better each year :)

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    1. Yeah, I look forward to them being able to take me out for brunch some day! ;-)

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  4. Replies
    1. I'm still here...just taking a little breather...had some family things that I needed to focus on. I'll be back! Lol

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