Saturday, January 11, 2014

How We Went From Massages in the Driveway to Pissing on the Mailbox

So this morning I watched the neighbor let her dog piss on my mailbox. She was on the phone (the neighbor, not the dog), and she stopped by our mailbox, the dog lifted its leg, and then they continued on their way. I know that it is the dog's way of marking his territory, but here's the thing, my mailbox isn't his territory. It is mine.

A little history on the neighbors.

He is a clown. Literally. He does birthday parties, church events etc. That should have been my first clue. Never trust a clown. Seriously. Those things freak me out. We had to have our house tented for termites and while the yellow and red tent was on our house, he set up all his circus stuff in his front yard with our house as a backdrop and took pictures. She was apparently a member of the Israeli Army (maybe another clue?). They have a big dog.

We used to get along with them. We'd see her in the driveway and chat for a while. She gave the hubby, who suffers from a bad back, a massage in the driveway (another clue) and told him about some medicated patches he could use on the knot in his back. We exchanged phone numbers after there were some break-ins in the neighborhood and agreed to keep an eye on each other's places.

We had a rubber tree on our property line that was slightly on theirs, but mostly on ours. This thing was ginormous. It shaded half of our house. Not a bad thing when you live in Florida, but the problem with rubber trees is their root system. They will literally bust through pipes, foundations, whatever they have to, to continue growing. Plus, that side of the house was so shaded that it never saw sunlight and the grass wouldn't grow and the house never fully dried out. This concerned me because of potential mold issues. Not to mention the huge leaves that it dropped in the thousands.

We decided to cut the tree down. The hubby spoke to the wife, explained what we were going to do and that it would be no cost to them. She was excited to say the least. She hated the leaves it dropped as much as we did. The husband wasn't as thrilled because he thought of losing the shade that it provided. That and the fact that he would now have to look at our house. Ummm, you're the one with the circus gate that we would now have to look at. (For real, you guys. The gate that goes from the front yard to the back yard, on the side of the house next to ours, is literally a gate that says "Circus" and looks like a couple of those show horses.)

We explained that after it was cut down, we would have to wait to be sure the stump and roots were dead before we could grind it out and that could take up to a year to happen.

So, down came the tree. Over the next few months, every chance they had, they were asking what was going to happen with the ugly stump. When were we going to grind it? When were we going to fix their fence that the tree had broken...etc...etc...Every time we explained it to them. Again. You have to make sure the root system is completely dead or else 50 more trees will sprout up where the roots are.

Then started the dog issues. Never, in the 3 years that we had our one Golden Retriever, was there ever an issue. Then we got a second dog. Still no issues. Our dogs would bark at each other if they were outside at the same time, but that was the extent of it. Their dog would sit outside and bark and bark at nothing for hours at a time. It used to infuriate me when I was trying to get my babies to sleep.

One of the boards in the fence separating our yards came loose. Next thing we know, we're getting a call from her saying our dog stuck its head though their fence and bit their dog. Well, your dog must have been pretty close to the fence to get bitten.

She started calling the hubby while he was at work to tell him that our dogs were out there barking. She would scream at them to "just stop and go away"! Our dogs bark at her dog when it comes up to our fence and antagonizes them. There have been times when the hubby is grilling, the dogs are out there with him, nowhere near their fence, their Cujo comes bolting out of the house right up to our fence, barking its ass off. Well obviously our dogs are going to react. If their dog was normal and just minded its own business, it wouldn't be an issue. Now it is at the point where the first thing our dogs do is run right over to their fence to see if that other dog is out there.

So that is the story of our neighbors and how we went from massages in the driveway to pissing on the mailbox.

I know it could be a lot worse than it is, but it is aggravating nonetheless.

Do you have any neighbor stories to share?


  1. Screw them. I would walk my dog by her mailbox and stop and let my dog piss on her mailbox! Give em something else to bitch about! :-)

    1. Lol...I gotta be honest, she kinda scares me...I think I'll just leave my dogs out a little longer when they start barking. lol

  2. I would fix that fence and never look over there again. I mean, in theory that's what I would do, because you know, life is too short to waste energy on these sorts of things.

    But in reality I would probably bash them on the internet in a snarky blogpost. =)

    1. I will have you know we fixed the board that slipped. :-) As for the fence in front, we said we would take care of it but apparently we weren't getting on it quick enough (because the hubby has a full time job that sort of keeps him occupied) so they took care of it.

      Works for me. lol

  3. We have a neighbor that vacuums her lawn. really. She goes out there with her contraption and vacuums it. Apparently the people that lived in my house before us also vacuumed their lawn. The two couples were friends. Neither of them have children. When we first moved in we cut down a tree in the backyard so we could put up a swingset. the neighbor felt that the prior owners wouldn't be pleased about that. OH WELL! Monique (Keeping it all together with 7 kids from FB land :-)

  4. Hey Monique!

    Now that is something I have never heard of - vacuuming the lawn?! Yeah, previous owners lose out on an opinion when they sell the house. lol.

    Thanks for stopping by!