Saturday, December 14, 2013

I Love My Husband and I'm Not Afraid To Say It

Yesterday the hubby and I celebrated 4 years since our first date. Yes, it may be very "high-school" of us, but we don't care. I had invited this incredibly hot guy from work to meet up with me and some friends at a local bar. He almost didn't go. His brother's girlfriend convinced him he should. (Thanks Suz!) We had a great time talking, smoking and drinking gin and tonics. At the end of the night we hugged and went our separate ways. I was giddy. I felt like a little schoolgirl. The next day at work we shot each other little smiles and glances across the room during a staff meeting. I was already smitten.

Recently, I Want A Dumpster Baby and Sammiches and Psych Meds both wrote about the increasingly popular husband bashing phenomenon. It really got me thinking; why do women that? I know we all poke a little fun at each other from time-to-time, but some of the quotes and "funny" pictures floating around out there are demeaning, undermining and uncalled for. I can't help but wonder why these obviously perfect women stay with men who are so unworthy of their love and affection.

Wait, what's that, you say? Maybe these women are just unhappy with themselves and are projecting that on to their husbands or significant others? I know what it is like to be in a marriage that just isn't working anymore. I know that people change and grow apart and two seemingly fitting people end up becoming more like a round peg and a square hole. I know that it is scary as hell to think about being alone, especially if there are children involved. I am certainly not saying that every couple having problems should run out and get divorced. But maybe, just maybe, if we tried to be a little more positive, things would get better.

I know women whose husbands work, sometimes in jobs they can't stand, so that they can stay home to be with the kids. These women post pictures about husbands not pulling their weight around the house etc. Well, here's a novel concept; Your husband works all day and you are home. Maybe it is your responsibility to do the brunt of the housework. He wouldn't expect you to go to work and do your job, would he? Then there are the families where both parents work. In that case, the housework should fall equally on each partner. Oftentimes it doesn't always work out this way, but if you are unhappy with the way it is going, talk to your partner. Don't bash them all over Facebook where their friends and family see it all.

I happen to be lucky to be married to someone who works a job that he doesn't hate (anymore) and also helps out around the house and with the kids. I will totally admit that I am often lax in keeping up with the housework, or it gets half-done. You know, like the clothes get washed and dried but not put away or the floors get vacuumed but not washed. But, I am trying. Apart for about 8 months after my son was born I have always worked. I am still trying to get the hang of this SAHM thing.

Seeing all of the negativity spewed towards husbands, boyfriends and partners really helped me to realize something I already knew, but often take for granted. I am lucky to be married to the love of my life. Do I get frustrated sometimes? Sure I do. But I'm going to own that and say that it is probably caused by something that is going on within myself at the time more so than something he did or didn't do.

No one is perfect. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship. We all have our ups and downs. But I am going to go out on a limb and, at the risk of being hung, drawn and quartered by all the other hating women out there, say; I LOVE MY HUSBAND! I ADORE HIM! I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM! I AM MARRIED TO A HARDWORKING MAN WHO LOVES HIS FAMILY AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT! AND HE IS TOTALLY FREAKIN' HOT!

So, haters, keep hating. Keep posting your negative, demeaning memes about how horrible your man is and I will continue to shout from the rooftops how lucky I am to have a true partner in my life. You never know, maybe if those of us who feel that way say it often enough, it will become contagious and more deserving men will get the respect and love that they need.

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